I Wouldn’t Kick Obama Out of Bed
Admittedly, President Obama will probably never grace my bed. There are too many impediments: wars, our clashing schedules, concern for public opinion. But if he did, I’d sure as hell let him stay. I say this because. . .
He has excellent posture.
I never got the chance to sleep with John F. Kennedy.
He doesn’t fart when anyone’s around — even the secret service men. He may want to, but has far too much class to indulge.
If he managed to get past the clutter in my front hallway, I’d owe it to him.
Witness to my parking situation, he’d surely abolish all of the handicapped spaces on my street.
I’d discover first-hand what time he gets up in the morning, and what type of sound he’s chosen for his alarm. Maybe I’d even get to hear his ring-tone!
He has great skin.
I’d feel patriotic in a new, sexier kind of way. I’d drape a flag across my headboard and feed him red, white and blue ice cream cake while humming the national anthem.
I’ve dreamed of massaging his ears.
I’d like him to meet my cat.
My boyfriend might finally respect me.
← The Wedding Guest | My Father’s Daughter, The Pope →
…but Michelle might kick your ass. I wouldn’t want her angry with me. She looks like she can put on the hurt.
J. Bear Savo recently posted…Downsizing
J. Bear, my hope is that the secret service men would restrain her. But maybe I’m just being naive.
I wouldn’t kick him out of bed either. But I’d be afraid of Michelle. She works out!
Lauren recently posted…Poetry 3.0 – How We Are Human by Luke Armstrong
That seems to be the theme! I guess I should be more concerned than I am.
would you like me to film the encounter for posterity? i will handle michelle, i’ve killed sharks and birthed cows.she doesn’t stand a chance. when your finished, mention me and foreign relations – i don’t mind your sloppy seconds.
I’ve killed sharks and birthed cows. . .LOL! You’re so flipping funny, Bev. I’ll gladly nudge him in your direction after we’re “done,” as you put it.
I think I love your last reason the best. But on the off chance that you do sleep with Obama and your boyfriend doesn’t respect you more as a result, don’t worry. I will.
Nicky recently posted…Internal Dialogue
Thanks, Nicky, but I think my boyfriend will be impressed. Still, I’ll take as much respect as I can get. Which is precious, precious little.
Topical and entertaining. Massage his ears indeed.
Indeed, Ben. Indeed.
…and how the hell do you post an icon to replace that green quilt pattern?
Do you have an avatar or a picture of yourself you’d like to post? I’m not positive how to upload it, but it’s a start.
Obama in bed. Got to admit, that’s not a visual I’ve tossed about, but damn, now you’ve made me go there! Maybe Bev can single-handedly hold off Michelle, but I think she’d kick my ass around the block a couple times. Her arms alone scare me! Funny post, June.
God, Annie, everyone’s scared of Michelle! I had no idea she was so scary.
As for picturing Obama in some personal moments, it might bring joy to otherwise uninspiring days.
As someone who’s been bean bagging Michelle for years, I can attest: Falling to your knees for Hail to the Chief must be an awesome experience, as the reverse reasonable facsimile certainly is.
You’d like Obama to meet your cat? I’m probably going to hate myself in the morning, but right off the bat Michele introduced me to her ….
At least I’m a good Democrat. I’d really feel like hell if I were a tea partying making these jokes!
Perry, so many responses. So little time. Plus, I’m having trouble differentiating your wit from my twisted mind.
I think I’ll leave it to that.
Hmmmmm….I wouldn’s kick him out either, wonder what my hubs would say!!LOL!
Lisa, your options are to ask directly, fish around, or keep mum. Whatever you choose, keep me informed!