They Scare Me
They move freely among us with comfort and with ease, and we barely give them a thought. Or perhaps we’re just too afraid. Because on some level, we all register their potential to inflict anguish. To ruin people. Families. Hell, whole civilizations.
They could take us all down in the beat of a heart.
They, my friends, are our friendly, neighborhood pharmacists.
Pharmacists know stuff about us. Sensitive, guilt-inducing, pitiable, intimate, disgusting stuff. Stuff that, if leaked — or announced over a loudspeaker – would unveil us as the unstable, physically defective, sexually inadequate losers we all are. Here are some of the things mine knows, or could surmise, about me:
I’m a wimp about tooth pain.
My bladder balks when I try to pee.
My legs itch after I shave.
I slept with the wrong damn person.
It’s not just humiliation to be feared, either. An angered pharmacist with a smidgen of creativity is a treacherous person indeed.
“Sorry, but your insurance no longer covers Zoloft, or any other antidepressant.”
“They’ve raised the copay on Viagra to $400.00.”
“I’m sure I told you there could be loss of vision, night terrors or incontinence.”
“If your heart medication looks different this month, it’s just the generic.”
Pharmacists.
They scare me.
What could yours surmise about you?
← Exposure | The Password →
And now you have me worried too.
As well you should be, D!
Oh deary me. I didn’t think of them this way until I read this post. I think I’m going to find a different pharmacist around London every time I need a prescription, hoping to break the identity link. I bet it won’t work but you never know. Maybe I could disguise myself or pretend it’s for someone else. You got me worried now June. Thanks.
Rum Punch, how did I not see your comment?? “To break the identity link…” LMAO. I hope you don’t lose sleep at night. Or, if you do, that it’s at least productive.
my dearest june
yes, the pharmacist. you must, as i have, cultivate a relationship with them. i invite mine to family picnics. i ply them with bbq ribs and lemon pie. i go through their purses and pockets while they laugh and play bocci ball. and i wait like a chess pawn, for the game to begin.
love bev
ps i have a balking bladder
pss you make me happy
You made my day, Bev, in so many ways. Thank you.
You are a truly humorous person.
First they’d realize I have pill-happy Docs. Then they’d know I have the body of an out-of-shape 80 year old…*grin*
Chris Dean recently posted…Google Proclaims It So!
Chris, stop!!! You’re a flipping wonder!
I think it is safe to say that my pharmacist could tell you that I am a very healthy succubus who is draining the life and vitality from the men I live with.
Nicky recently posted…30 Minus 2 Days Of Writing
Nicky, succubus is the best word I’ve come across in the last year. Seriously. You are fucking hysterical.
Absolutely nothing…I’m not on any meds.
Helena Fortissima recently posted…Going Boxless
That’s wonderful, Helena!
Haven’t thought about this, but it’s very true. Long ago I went to a pharmacist to get a prescription filled for birth control. I was young at the time…like maybe 20 years old. Call me naive, but I was under the assumption that he would just hand over the pills and let me leave, but he took them out of the bag and explained very loudly for the entire room to hear, the sequence of the tablets and side effects. If i could have crawled under his white coat to hide I would have. Funny post, June!
Annie! Great to see you. As for your pharmacist, you were wronged. For the level of mortification you’d experience at that age, you should have filed a suit!
The parents of my daughter’s boyfriend are both pharmacist—I’m seeing them in a whole new light.
Lynne Favreau recently posted…My Next Big Thing
Lol, Lynne.
That’s why my sheaf of prescriptions goes to an automated system in Georgia which sends 90-day supplies that arrive unmarked in the mail.
Great to see June stuff two Sundays in a row.
Ben, you’re the best. In so many ways.
There’s a great joke about a guy whose girlfriend asks to come to dinner with her family, promising a “treat” afterwards. He’s still a virgin, so panic-stricken he rushes to the pharmacy, where a kindly chemist gives him some guidance about contraceptives. He leaves much calmer, with an array of condoms in his wallet.
At the meal, the guy is seated with the family, and the father says grace. The girlfriend notices the guy praying along fervently and afterwards leans over to him and whispers: “I don’t know you were religious.”
He replies, “I didn’t know your father was a chemist.”
Mulled Vine recently posted…Genie
I loved that, Robert! What a classic.
My pet peeve is when pharmacists give the wrong medication. I once received meds for another person who lives near me, same last name, different first name. I took it back and freaked out at them, saying that I have enough intelligence to know it was the wrong meds, but if it was someone elderly or someone who didn’t have all of their faculties, they may have blindly taken those wrong meds without giving it a second thought, causing who knows what kind of damage. Before getting your meds from the pharmacy, make sure they ask you your birthdate, that’s how you can ensure they are giving you the correct perscription!
Good point, Lisa. You’re so right. That’s happened to me, too. I realized it, but still…
Its truly amazing at how much we trust members of our society….
Dan Bonser recently posted…Ballad of the Emerald Bard: Mother of the Bride – 4
Exactly, Dan. Exactly.
Our pharmacist is always busy in the back room. They hand the prescription through to the cashier, who doesn’t even look at them, just your name. Better still, I now order mine online and just pick them up from the chemist, bagged up and ready to go.
Babs recently posted…1960′s memorabilia
Sounds like a good plan, Babs!
I don’t have a website – silly me!
Just commenting on your post; our pharmacy uses phamacy technicians who are all very young. I know they are supposed to be trained to use confidentiality and discretion, etc. But… Sometimes I wonder…
Barbara, I know! Not that it so much matters — to me, anyway — but damn, I do wonder.
Thanks so much for stopping by!
My pharmacist knows WAY too much about me… but so does the rest of the world, including the Internet.
I guess I just don’t care who knows I have a leaky ass, thanks to Cronhs disease and that I am in chronic pain due to Rheumatoid arthritis, Lupus, Sjogren’s ect…
Hell, I have posted photos of me ON THE TOILET on the Internet. I’ve also posted photos of my crazy anaphylaxis allergic reactions with giant swollen lips and hands that look like baseball gloves.
So if my pharmacist shouts anything loudly, I just laugh. Because for me, that’s so much better than feeling ashamed.
meleah rebeccah recently posted…My Next Big Thing
I love you, Meleah.
They would be thinking that I live a dull life. Too old for birth control, too young and/or healthy for a host of other prescription drugs. I am pretty thick skinned though. If I had a bladder infection or something equally fun…let them announce it to the world. Heck if I care.
Cheryl P. recently posted…That’s Not Right
Cheryl, too old for birth control, too young for geriatric meds…LOL! Love your attitude, too.
Friggin hilarious!!! I’ve often thought of the power that pharmacists wield. They could easily destroy us. They are the Darth Vader’s of modern medicine.
Lauren recently posted…Is Double Linking the Same as Double Dipping?
The Darth Vaders of modern medicine! Bwaaahhh! You’re so funny, Lauren. I should have you write my posts.
I go to Duane Reade, which should already be sounding all sorts of alarms. I call it “the bunker,” because it’s underground, way underground and would a have made even the Fuhrer feel safe and secure.
And my secrets? “Hey DR shoppers, come see the ‘troubled man.’” They could ruined me.
Hugh, the Duane Reades I’ve been in were huge. I think I’d feel more anonymous. Still, you’re right. Attention there probably could ruin you.
typo “ruin”
Jodi, you only buy used? That makes me feel better! The only thing with it is, great shoes in thrift shops, etc, are often size 9 and up. Have you noticed that?
Great to see you!